19 Sep

So, as you all [should[ know, I want to go to Italy. Badly. VERY badly.

So here’s my top secret evil plan. I’m putting it here because it’s top secret and I don’t want anyone to read it. Internet. Perfect place for that, right? 😉

Here’s what I’m going to do.

First, I have to have some money. Everyone knows it’s easier to get money in America than anywhere else–immigrants, duh. Get-rich-quick schemes seem to be easier to execute here. So, following this wonderful line of thought, I plan to rob a bank. That’s right. A big one, not here in the ville because they’re too small. Maybe New York. Then, once I bust in there and take a couple bags of cashola, I buy my plane ticket.

Due to the extravagant weapons I will be carrying, the airport security will not let me board. I foresee this, so I have a backup plan. Actually, I have two.

First, I steal a private jet that belongs to someone rich and powerful. That’s the easy solution…if you don’t think about where I’m going to fill up the plane’s tank. Seriously, where ARE plane gas stations?…

Option two. I get a rowboat. It worked out pretty well for Tulio and Miguel, so I figure, if fictional characters can make it to the land of gold, I can make it to Italy. Of course, just like Tulio always says, I have to get provisions first. I might raid a Wally World for that. No big deal.

I will also start working out now so that my arms can handle the row part of the boat.

Once I get to Italy, I use my money [and my weapons] to find a place to stay. I’m thinking a little flat overlooking the Canal in Venice. Sounds optimal.

When is this all going to happen? you ask.

Easy answer.

Soon. Very soon.

Better get ready for some exciting headlines in the next couple of months or so.

Of course, if this doesn’t all work out, I might just escape to Cuba. That’s always been a back-up plan of mine.


[I have fun making evil plots that are this ridiculous.]

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Posted by on September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized


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