Shh, Don’t Tell Anyone.

23 Sep


What a fantastic vacation spot, eh?

Not so much.

However, it’s a very handy hiding place when you’re running from the law.

Once, a long time ago, a friend and I came up with an extremely elaborate plan to run from the law and make our way to Cuba.

It all started when we were ‘students for hire’ for a school fundraiser. What happens with that is a person calls the school and tells them they need two, three, a dozen, etc students for a project they’re working on. They tell us what we would be expected to do for the job, and from there we can volunteer.

In this particular instance, I had been volunteered [along with my friend Sarah] to break down boxes in a business downtown. We drove/were driven [we were like fifteen, okay?] and went right to work.

The way we were working was like this: another friend would drag boxes outside and throw them down the front steps. We could grab them and proceed to pull them limb from limb…or, you know, flatten them. Then we would drag a pile of flattened boxes to a dumpster a few yards off.

The catch: we were right next to a very, very busy road…and we looked like juvie hall breakouts. Or rather, like we were in juvie hall and this was our ‘public service’…which I guess it was, in one way or another.

We decided that everyone thought that was what we were. So, logically, we came up with a kick-butt plan for escape from the evil, tyrannical people that were forcing us to work so, so, SO hard.

The evil plan went like this:

Step 1. One of us was to stumble into the street and, being careful not to actually get killed, basically play dead in the road. The cars would stop and people would crowd around us, worried that we were…dead.

Step 2. Since in the ville you can’t get out of your car in the middle of the road and leave it on, all the cars would be fair game for a little low-effort highjacking. Whoever wasn’t playing roadkill would hop in a car.

Step 3. The person in the car would give a signal and the ‘dead’ friend would jump up and into the car.

Step 4. Drive away very, very quickly. With our non-licensed selves driving. This was most exciting to us, I think.

Step 5. This is where it all got a little fuzzy. We were either going to buy/steal a couple plane tickets, or we were going to stow away on a boat that was headed for Cuba. Once there, we could blend right in with the other criminals hanging out there. Since the American government basically has absolutely NO pull in Cuba, we would be safe.

Step 6. We would change our names [and we wouldn’t have needed a passport at that time], and once we got older and looked different, we could return to the States, free and clear.

So that’s my opinion of Cuba. Of course, it’s not that easy to run away to Cuba anymore…nor am I a convict. But you know what? That’s okay. I like being a free citizen…

I just don’t tell anyone about that one other time…

Let’s just say there’s a reason I run when I hear sirens. 😉

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Posted by on September 23, 2011 in Uncategorized


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