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Is This The Last Time?

21 Dec

Fifteen minute reflection post. Ready?

*quick random thought*

I have this weird thing where I can’t write when I’m listening to music. I mean, I can, but if it’s a creative writing project, I end up writing basically what the song says. Same with posts here. I’m listening to Adele–just changed to Taylor Swift–so I bet you’ll be able to tell. I’ll probably say something like ‘wonderstruck’ and you’ll be like, hey, that’s TSwift’s line…

*Sorry*

So lately I’ve been thinking about what your last words to people are. I don’t remember a lot of last words that I said, because I don’t know a whole lot of people that have passed away, but just thinking about that whole thing makes me think about what I said to my grandparents last time I saw them. Did I say I loved them? Did I say ‘See you later’? Did I even give them a hug goodbye?

Last night my mom and I had a bit of a fight. This doesn’t happen often–we usually get along really well–but last night I had a release of pent-up emotions, and my mom honestly tried to help. When you’re frustrated, though, nothing seems helpful, only harmful. I lashed out a little, and I regretted it. My mom walked out of the room, and I just kind of stood staring after her, thinking, “What if that was the last thing I ever said to her? What if the last memory I’ll have of her is telling her off for trying to help?” Not okay.

Wondering if what you say will be the last thing you say to someone really makes you think about what you say. It kind of puts an extra filter over your mouth, so that you think twice before you say something stupid. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be nicer and not say something you’ll regret, but it definitely makes you wonder…what if?

That’s kind of one of my life mottoes. What if…? Live as if every moment is your last, right?

Or as if every time you see someone you love will be the last time.

And, as always, remember to stay #AwkwardAndProud. Awkward and elegant, just like the giraffe–and just like all of us.

 

This post was written in honor of my friend Ali and her recent struggles. Isaiah 41:10.

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Posted by on December 21, 2011 in Family, Fears, Friends

 

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