So I’ve been learning recently that I don’t really have anything outstanding to put on a resume. I’ve also been learning that I know absolutely nothing.
I took a kind of placement test the other day to find out my skill level with Word and typing and that sort of thing, and here’s what I discovered:
I barely know how to use the one system I’m most familiar with.
I wish I could go back in time and take a few business classes and maybe some kind of economics or something technical like that. I don’t even really know what all that stuff is.
See, there’s the problem. I’m job hunting, and all these jobs require experience with things that I’ve either never heard of or barely know how to spell to look up. I recently interviewed for a position with a local bank, and the position was for a desk job in the mortgage department. What. is. a mortgage. I mean, sure, I know the basic concept, right? But I don’t know how to apply for a mortgage, pay on a mortgage, or really anything to do with that. I mean. I’m a twentysomething just started in the professional world, so how could I possibly have the experience and knowledge on that?
So I’ve decided to put together a list of jobs I’m qualified. Whether or not these jobs are, in fact, real jobs, is completely beside the point.
- Internet surfer. I’m becoming a professional at finding random things all over the internet. Interesting things, things that I just have no idea how people have time to create. Which brings me to number two.
- Meme creator. I could come up with subtitles way more popular than the ones that are circling the web right now. If that was my job, I would be great.
- Card writer. I could be the best card writer there is. I mean, sentimental, humorous, sad, anything. I could write some killer popular cards. All the Hallmark stores would want my work.
- Professional blogger. I mean, if I had nothing but time, I could probably blog every day. I love writing, and if making stuff up to write a blog every day is what it takes, I’d do it.
- Subtitles for movies. I could totally transcribe movies and write down the subtitles for them. And they would probably be a little more accurate than your average subtitles.
- Travel writer. I could be amazing at this. Travelling is one of my favorite things in the world, with writing coming in a close second. I would love love LOVE to get paid to travel and write about my experiences or the places I visit. I would love to write for a travel guide, or even live abroad and write about how to live like a local and not like a long-term tourist, while still seeing all the major landmarks and tourist pulls. Any job like that would be amazing.
Long story short, I need a job that includes either writing or web-surfing [or both] and, preferably, copious amounts of coffee.
How hard could it be to find a job like that?
Turns out, it’s darn near impossible.