Well, it’s official…our neighbors almost definitely think we’re insane.
Mostly because, to be completely honest, we kinda are.
Kelly and I just experienced a whole new lever of stupid terror. By stupid terror, I mean we just got the poo scared out of us by a probably-totally-inane bit of nonsense.
So here’s what happened.
Last week, I returned from bible study with two very full boxes of pizza. Since then, I have eaten roughly one of those pizzas. So, today, we decided to do some fridge-cleaning-out-and-rearranging. This means that for about thirty minutes, the pizza sat on our counter (or rather, stove, as the counter space is a bit limited and also in high demand) while we tried to figure out where to put everything else.
I then proceeded to shove, in the most aggressive way possible, several large pieces into a super small container in the name of Saving Space.
Kelly decided to take out the trash because we figured the food in it would attract bugs we had been trying our darndest to to fight off. It was really dark outside, though, so I used my iPhone’s light to illuminate her path to the trash cans from our back door. She took the trash out, came back in, and then I noticed what looked a mixture of a fence and a roof laying against our neighbor’s fence.
We proceeded to stare at it, trying to figure out what the Weird Thing Over There was. Then, suddenly, we heard deep, throaty, incredibly threatening barking from a different neighbor’s house.
We freaked out. I mean, Kelly kinda squealed/screamed and I jumped six inches in the air. Kelly full-on ran back into the house, while I moved the fastest I ever have back into the house far enough to slam the door and lock it. After approximately one second, Kelly and I were both bent over double in hysterical giggles.
We’re so mature, guys.
“I’m so glad we’re old enough to live alone,” Kelly said. “As much as I am against the idea of having a guy roommate…I wish we could have a guy roommate.”
“So he could beat up the scary things,” I offered.
“Yeah! And take out the trash. At night.”
But alas, I still had more pizza..and I could not fit all of the bits and pieces of what was left into tupperware. I was left with two pieces and a banana pepper (which I adamantly refused to eat. ick). So, after a Winnie The Pooh style Think Moment, Kelly hatched a plan; I open the door, she throws them out into the backyard, and then I slam the door and lock it again.
We proceeded to do this, then realized any neighbors casually looking outside could probably see us chucking pizza and peeking through the windows to be sure the pizza had landed in the grass and there were no mongrels clawing at our back door.
We proceeded to laugh about how crazy our neighbors probably thought we were, all whilst peering out of our door (which doesn’t have shades).
Needless to say, the next thing on our list is a curtain of some sort for that door.
We also realized that 1) while the neighbor to our left does, in fact, have a dog, the barking came from directly behind our house, 2) it was a very deep barking so we decided it couldn’t have been a chihuahua (an unfortunate and terrifying realization), and 3) we don’t actually have a fence all the way around our house, meaning there actually could be a Hound of Unusual Sizes in our backyard right now.
We dubbed the Mysterious Barker the Hound of the Bartlesville because it was genuinely terrifying.
We’re very thankful for locks, lights, and a roommate tonight…